Wedding Dilemma

A 'Datin' friend called yesterday - in her usual frenzied manner - to tell me that she was making preparations for her son's wedding in June. I could sense her excitement; after all, this is going to be her maiden effort and she wants everything to go silky smooth. In earlier conversations (the wedding was fast becoming a preoccupation), she mentioned about wanting it to be a "nice" and "simple" affair. This time around, in one breadth, she blurted out the series of discussions she had with her husband while going through the whole gamut of the Where, Who, When and How and was quite exasperated ( and tired, no doubt) by the time she got me on the phone. (See what husbands can do to us poor wives?? ).

Deciding on the venue was a piece of cake - having it at the house was out of the question; it just isn't done these days. Even if it means changing the date several times to get the desired venue. You may have a palatial bungalow, but an offspring's wedding has to be at a hotel (4star at least). The reason? You'll see. So the choice of venue had been decided quite easily without fraying any tempers.

As to the 'How' bit - that too resolved itself along with the venue. Surely in your wildest dreams, you didn't think for a minute that the Datin would be doing the cooking, did you?

So, the bone of contention? You've guessed it - the guest-list, of course. First, the number. Her husband, the Dato', wanted 1,000 invitees because he couldn't possibly omit any one from his varied circle of business and political contacts, he said. The latter would definitely swell the number. The wife contends that these 'contacts' are mere acquaintances of his (and strangers to her) and therefore should give way to more friends and relatives. She was mindful of his relatives from the kampong who would come with their daughters/sons-in-law and grandchildren in tow although the card would imply quite the opposite. No way, he said. His 'friends' have to be invited if he expects to retain whatever political clout he has ( no matter that it is only an imagined one). Or it would amount to a suicide for his fledgling political career and the death of his lofty ambitions. Never mind that half might not even turn up, given that he is no Ketua Bahagian or Cawangan or even a ketua bureau for that matter! Then comes the crunch - you can't invite the underlings and not invite the top brass of the party! So who makes an appearance on the guest-list? The no.# and no.# of the party bigwigs! Not to mention the entourage of bodyguards, personal assistants, chronies, and ubiquitous political sychophants (who sometimes begged to be invited).

So now you know how wedding guest-lists get drawn up (the Datin's, anyway). But my friend the Datin raved, ranted and rowed. She didn't want to feed 1,000 guests (although it would be the husband's money) and play host to total strangers. She would rather give the extra money to her son as he would need it to set up home. In the end, she won - the list would contain no more than 700. The Dato promised to dwell on it and do the elimination on his part of the 'guests'. And who would make up the 700? The wedding won't be till June - a good 3 months away. If I blog about the wedding in June, you'll know that I made it on the list. Otherwise, it would mean that I had suffered the axe for being 'persona non grata' to him. Being a friend of the wife's just won't cut it!

If it were my son getting married, I would have my share of the "important" people to invite too; only they would be the "imam", the surau's committee and sub-committee members, the Kumpulan Wanita of the area and the neighbours. Then again, hell knows no fury should I dare leave any of these people out!