When the 2007 Ramadhan came, I was determined to embrace it with a deeper sense of meaning on a personal level.For several reasons - one of which being that I was preparing to go for my maiden pilgrimage (Haji) in November, and I wanted the journey to be a blessed one. Much has been written of the preparations that one needs to make for the purportedly physically and mentally taxing pilgrimage. For me, the journey began with the fasting month, and aptly so. For Ramadhan is not merely the act of abstaining from food and drink from dawn to dusk, but abstinence that extends beyond the physical as a manifestation of one's faith. In this holiest of months, I saw it as an opportunity to better myself as a Muslim, and in so doing, hope that I would be on the right path to embark on my spiritual journey in November. At my age, I am grateful for the ability to fast without fear of any repercussions on my health. And I am grateful to the Almighty for a lot more than that. I believe there comes a time in a man's/woman's life that he/she becomes spiritually enlightened, or more so, and my time is now. Although I have been a practising Muslim, I realise it falls short of the addin in more ways than one. For one thing, I have never worn the tudung as a manner of dress except when obliged on certain religious occasions. I had relegated 'dress' to form, not substance, and had somehow managed to rationalise my preference for a westernised mode of attire in so far as it was within the realms of modesty as I envisaged it.
And so it was at the start of Ramadhan that I began to don the tudung. In the beginning, to say that it was somewhat awkward was an understatement. Apart from wanting to look 'nice' in it, I was equally concerned about not wanting to look frumpy and old-fashioned, so I had to find a way to wrap the tudung in just the 'right' manner! This naturally was time-consuming, not to mention a tedious exercise in creativity. Slowly, I found my 'style'; nothing ingenious, but one in which I was comfortable enough not to shrink away from public view. My initial apprehension had nothing to do with being embarrassed or ashamed about donning the tudung; it was more to do with vanity. In time, however, it has bothered me less. I have made minor adjustments to the style, depending on the occasion, and have become quite adept at using the long or the square scarf. My only concession to vanity is that the colour should match my outfit, for fear of coming out in a riot of colours so gaudy it would make someone cringe. I have worn the tudung for over a year now, and can't see myself without it in public, or in the company of 'other men'. The bizarre thing about it is that I have even come to embrace it as an identity which I had forsaken for so long that I am ashamed to have done so and called myself a Muslim.
And so it was at the start of Ramadhan that I began to don the tudung. In the beginning, to say that it was somewhat awkward was an understatement. Apart from wanting to look 'nice' in it, I was equally concerned about not wanting to look frumpy and old-fashioned, so I had to find a way to wrap the tudung in just the 'right' manner! This naturally was time-consuming, not to mention a tedious exercise in creativity. Slowly, I found my 'style'; nothing ingenious, but one in which I was comfortable enough not to shrink away from public view. My initial apprehension had nothing to do with being embarrassed or ashamed about donning the tudung; it was more to do with vanity. In time, however, it has bothered me less. I have made minor adjustments to the style, depending on the occasion, and have become quite adept at using the long or the square scarf. My only concession to vanity is that the colour should match my outfit, for fear of coming out in a riot of colours so gaudy it would make someone cringe. I have worn the tudung for over a year now, and can't see myself without it in public, or in the company of 'other men'. The bizarre thing about it is that I have even come to embrace it as an identity which I had forsaken for so long that I am ashamed to have done so and called myself a Muslim.
Atom Feed (xml)