Monday 29th Dec. was a day of celebration for an old friend of mine. Not only was it her 35th wedding anniversary, but also her eldest son's 34th birthday - on the very same day! Not to mention it was awal Muharam, and hence a public holiday which made it easier for us and the 100 or so people to turn up for the lunch that she and her husband held for family and friends. Plus, the restaurant serves a fairly decent Malay fare. The selection of desserts was limited for a sweet tooth person like me, but, and more importantly, the kueh pelita, sagu gula Melaka, and kueh koci pulut hitam were authentic.
For me, it was a celebration of sorts too. I had known ZB and her husband YC since varsity days, so we go back a long way. Ours is a friendship borne out of a common interest in all things literary. Our love of books found us in the same profession. Although we worked in different organisations, we stayed in touch throughout our working lives. Not often, but enough to keep track of each other.
I was at her wedding in Seremban, and dropped in on her and YC a couple of times in the early years of their marriage. Once I stayed back for dinner at their home in Kg. Pandan and had a taste of YC's gulai lemak kuning. ZB, of course, doesn't cook! But she has other endearing qualities to nourish our friendship. She is warm, understanding and one of the most level-headed persons I know. While she is critical, she is not judgemental.
I visited her in Seremban after she had just given birth to her second son, and by then her family knew that I am a friend. I was there for her eldest son's akad nikah and was present for his wedding too, some eight years ago. I wasn't always there for all the ups and downs in her life, but what we had was enough to sustain the friendship to this day.
Ours wasn't the kind of friendship nurtured over regular Sunday lunches, obligatory phone calls, shopping trips, birthday get-togethers, and the other stuff that 'friends' do together as a rule. In fact, there had been years ( and other important moments in our lives) when we had not kept in touch. But the lack of contact had not strained the friendship. We are, after all, different people, leading separate lives; but our paths have crossed, and the times that we have shared have bonded us. Our families might not be close, but my husband and children know that ZB is a friend, whose name gets mentioned often enough at home.
ZB looked happy on Monday, and I am happy for her. I am also happy to celebrate a friendship that has stood the test of time.
For me, it was a celebration of sorts too. I had known ZB and her husband YC since varsity days, so we go back a long way. Ours is a friendship borne out of a common interest in all things literary. Our love of books found us in the same profession. Although we worked in different organisations, we stayed in touch throughout our working lives. Not often, but enough to keep track of each other.
I was at her wedding in Seremban, and dropped in on her and YC a couple of times in the early years of their marriage. Once I stayed back for dinner at their home in Kg. Pandan and had a taste of YC's gulai lemak kuning. ZB, of course, doesn't cook! But she has other endearing qualities to nourish our friendship. She is warm, understanding and one of the most level-headed persons I know. While she is critical, she is not judgemental.
I visited her in Seremban after she had just given birth to her second son, and by then her family knew that I am a friend. I was there for her eldest son's akad nikah and was present for his wedding too, some eight years ago. I wasn't always there for all the ups and downs in her life, but what we had was enough to sustain the friendship to this day.
Ours wasn't the kind of friendship nurtured over regular Sunday lunches, obligatory phone calls, shopping trips, birthday get-togethers, and the other stuff that 'friends' do together as a rule. In fact, there had been years ( and other important moments in our lives) when we had not kept in touch. But the lack of contact had not strained the friendship. We are, after all, different people, leading separate lives; but our paths have crossed, and the times that we have shared have bonded us. Our families might not be close, but my husband and children know that ZB is a friend, whose name gets mentioned often enough at home.
ZB looked happy on Monday, and I am happy for her. I am also happy to celebrate a friendship that has stood the test of time.
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